[DEER] ic inbox;

[sinnabon]

Text | Voicemail | Video | Action | Prayer


[ when the voicemail message plays, the first one you hear is jack, and the second, patient but tired one is sam winchester. ]

" Hi. This is Jack's phone. Sorry I'm not picking up right now. If this is about an emergency, you should probably call Sam or Dean, or come by our house at— "

" Don't tell them where we live. "

" Our house at... nowhere. We don't have a house. What's a house? "

" Trying too hard. "

" Okay. Bye. "

Comments

[acidwashjeans]

shit

[ apocalypse world???? ]

there's this thing going on with the phones
it's hide and seek but it makes some people go kind of crazy

[sinnabon]

i think that was it
you weren't the only person i hurt

[ which he's feeling pretty horrible about. but at the same time, not surprised. these things tend to happen with him, whether it's accidental, or poor judgment, or some other insanity.

he's just dangerous to be around. jack should've known deerington and a social life wouldn't change that. ]

if you want me to stay away from you, i understand

[acidwashjeans]

is this something that happens to you a lot?

[ he doesn't want to give an answer yet.

Jack's a good guy, or has been so far. but if he's going to do this again, then Steve wants to know ]

[sinnabon]

not like that, but

i told you the first time we talked
people around me get hurt
i don't mean for it to happen but
sometimes it just does

i can't control my power or i make a stupid decision or someones in the wrong place at the wrong time or i don't notice something fast enough or someone else tricks me into doing something
sometimes i get too upset and things just happen

if something else effects me like that again and i can't fight it
it could be worse
it could be a lot worse

[ he can disintegrate people with a thought, what the hell was he thinking running around carefree in a place like deerington? regardless of if he lost control or not in the hide and seek game, this still amounts to his fault. jack knows what he's carrying around with him, and he should know damn well enough to keep it locked away from everyone else here. he never should've gone to deerington hall. ]

[acidwashjeans]

[ as much as steve wants to say that's something that happens to everyone, making bad choices and getting bad consequences, it's not the same. it's worse when you're literally half angel ]

shit

[sinnabon]

[ it is worse, and jack knows it. jack knew it, and that makes all of this worse too. he got too lax in the apocalypse world, where the others knew to give him space when he was fighting, knew to let him go in first, celebrated it after when he'd mow down an encampment of michael's angels.

it only got worse after coming to deerington and taking joy in a simpler life, in people that already knew about the supernatural and, while he was still strange to them, he wasn't insane for claiming what he is. people like steve, who trusted him to be safe around him, trusted that he'd only ever give protection with his powers. he betrayed that trust, and he should've known better. ]

it's okay
i'm going to take care of it
i'll make sure it doesn't happen again

i was stupid and distracted but i'll make sure i don't hurt anyone else here

[acidwashjeans]

hey
don't do anything stupid ok

[sinnabon]

i already did something stupid and it got people i care about hurt
you should know, you were one of them

don't worry about it
i know what i'm doing

[ he said, having no idea what he's doing ]

[acidwashjeans]

yeah you say that but
i feel like you don't

[sinnabon]

well maybe if a How To Control The Son of Satan book falls out of the sky someone can figure it out
but until then, i'm not waiting until i hurt someone else to figure it out
i couldve disintegrated you, steve, don't you get that?

[acidwashjeans]

[ He hadn't gotten that. He hadn't quite gotten how crazy this whole angel thing was. ]

the son of satan??? you wanna run that by me again, jack?? what the fuck?

[sinnabon]

[ yeah, he knows steve hadn't heard that part before, and jack had been content not to tell him. OA knew, and it wasn't exactly that jack told billy as billy saw a memory it was mentioned in, and maybe jack was just stupidly letting himself hope billy already told steve, which meant jack wouldn't have to.

no such luck. but after what happened with hide and seek, steve should know. steve shouldn't look back at him when he collapses like he's worried he needs help. he should just run. ]

my father is lucifer
he didn't raise me and i'm not like him and i never want to be but
it's not just angel or archangel power i have


if you ever see me attacking other sleepers, run
get everyone else away from me and call dean winchester

[acidwashjeans]

holy shit
dude you can't just not tell people that? that's crazy

[sinnabon]

it wasn't important until now
and sam told me not to tell people

[ and jack should really leave it at that, but he's sick and he's grouchy and he's scared and he's eighty different shades of upset, and it just gets to him. ]

and why can't i?
you already knew i was strong, what difference does it make who my parents are?
why is that something i have to share?
there's a girl here who's an actual god, go yell at her for not advertising it

[acidwashjeans]

[ Steve's scared, not of Jack really, but just of everything. ]

when she tries to disintegrate me i'll yell at her too

[sinnabon]

[ jack gets all the way to typing out "she actually killed someone, i didn't", only to read that again and realize it's incredibly shitty of him to use something he knows damn well julia couldn't control like that. not that he could either, but steve was still hurt, and if he is scared of jack, he has good reason to be.

hell, jack's scared of jack right now, so how can he blame him?

there's a few minutes in between the texts while jack drops his fluid somewhere to the side of his pillow and sinks down into his bed, pulling the covers over his head and scrubbing his face with his hands. stupid stupid stupid, he's being so damn stupid, and it'll be people like steve that pay for it when he takes too long sulking about it. ]

no one's going to disintegrate you
just try to stay inside with billy and the kids until this stuff blows over

[acidwashjeans]

until it blows over?
until you stop being the actual child of the devil???

[sinnabon]

i meant the hide and seek game
but if that's what you're worried about... it's not something i can fix


i'll keep my distance
we'll have something that can stop me soon so
you don't need to worry about it
just stay safe, steve

[acidwashjeans]

[ he hates the way his thoughts race to fear and stress and anxiety right now
he hates that they make him think he's right for doing this ]

yeah maybe that's for the best

[sinnabon]

[ cool.

coolcoolcool.

there's no text back, he's just going to lay in bed and wallow in self-loathing and plot with some sketchy shit with some god girl. ]